Life, and End of Life Times

I haven't been blogging lately; I've been attending to family. A child in need, a parent in need. These are the times of our lives! My husband and I are grateful that we were able to spend a week with our daughter, helping her recuperate after surgery; we received a bonus of time with our grandsons! Of course, at the same time, Lon's brother was bringing his mother back over to Phoenix to move into assisted living, to be near, so we can spend time with her and keep an eye on her care. We are grateful for that, as well. We are grateful that we have documents in place that provide for our authority to do so! Family is the most important thing in life, and it is important to keep that in perspective, when the onslaught of extraneous minutia might otherwise overwhelm. Planning, and respite are important, as well, in order to maintain balance. We are looking forward to time in Espania this fall. I'll leave you with this, which says it all:

Droning on...

Today's discussion in the national news about the use of drones against US citizens is disturbing. Our US constitution protects us against such erosions of our property, liberty, and lives. This is why our founding fathers thought it right to include the citizens' right to bear arms - in the event that OUR own government began to turn against its own citizens. A shout out to @Michael G Miller Fine Art. I keep waiting to see more blogging from him. It's the Chinese New Year - Year of the Snake. I, for one, am glad the Year of the Dragon is over. We are half-way through winter; that's a good thing. There is much to be grateful for.

It's all over...

I'm relieved, in a way, however, concerned about what lies ahead now. I just read this article on gopusa.com http://www.gopusa.com/commentary/2012/11/08/patton-john-galt-calling-had-enough/ I agree; my husband and I have worked hard for a very long time, and our tax dollars continue to be sliced more ways each year, supporting more and more people who don't step up. I'm not against those less fortunate who need a helping hand. I am against those who milk the system, and don't ever get "off the dole." Our welfare system was never meant to support those unwilling to work. It was meant to be a safety net. What would be wrong with requiring welfare recipients to work, either doing what they are able to do employment-wise, or volunteering if they can't find work, something, rather than penalizing them if they get work, by taking away their benefits. Try bridging their benefits toward self-sufficiency. I've seen able bodied individuals who, rather than trying to find work, hide their abilities from the government, in order to continue to receive a paltry amount in disability benefits. They did so, mainly, because if they worked over a very minimal amount, they would lose their benefit. They were so invested in that monthly check, they refused to see beyond it, and how much better off they would be working full-time. They chose to live in abject poverty. That's just wrong. Our system is so twisted around, and broken. Our elected representatives, in a lot of ways, are the same as disability recipients. They won't change the system, because they rely on its benefits. They are career politicians who stand to benefit by NOT changing the system. It pays them to keep it in place.

Elder Abuse: Dealing with oppositional-defiant family members...

There is a lot of published material dealing with difficult people, negotiating and compromising, and less than ideal extended family situations.  When a family is is trying its best to work out an end-of-life arrangement for a surviving, and failing, parent, it is tough under the best of circumstances.  It can be next to impossible when one family member is anti-social, narcissistic, and oppositional-defiant.

Some individuals want everything their way.  There is no compromise; it's their way, or the highway.  Those types of persons will sabotage the family's best intentions, they will seemingly agree, and then set about doing something different, they will find things to argue about when there is nothing to argue about.  They will constantly make inane demands.  These types of individuals will compare what they think they are getting, or think they should get, to that which others have gotten, or what they think others have gotten.  They are never happy because they are miserable, unhappy people, and nothing makes them happy - NOTHING.

The sad thing is that the one that suffers from all of this thoughout the entire time dealing with it is the parent - the one everyone is trying to help.  The parent bears the brunt of the adult child's inability to work in the family unit.  The adult child, in essence, never grew up, and expects the failing, elderly parent to continue to parent them, step in on their behalf, defend them, support them, fight for them in the family unit.  Unfortunately, the parent is no longer able to do so, and what ends up happening constitutes emotional elder abuse, if not physical and financial elder abuse, as well.

There are no easy answers, unfortunately.  That is the inherent problem.  The family has to deal with an unreasonable, irrational individual, usually one that has unfettered access to the failing parent.  And, the failing parent, due to their failing, has little, or no defense to say enough, stop it, behave, as a parent might normally say.  Going through the court system takes time, and is financially taxing, at the least.  Meanwhile, the stress and strain continue.

Using a power of attorney for healthcare, and asking for assistance from healthcare providers may help, as well as contacting the county's elder abuse unit, to ask for assistance.  Elder abuse, in any form, is against the law.  Elder abuse usually occurs by someone the elder knows.  Sad, but true.

When an elder is isolated from other family members, their email is censored, their phone conversations are eavesdropped, or cut short, or monitored, so that they are afraid to talk, that is elder abuse.  When an elder is brainwashed by one family member that all the other family members are against them and the perpetrator, that is elder abuse.  When everyone else in the family is wrong, and the perpetrator is right, about anything and everything, that is elder abuse.

There are plenty of good attorneys that specialize in elder law; find one and seek a consultation!

Once in a Blue Moon...

Maybe we will see a "Blue Moon" here in the Northwest!  I'll be outside, just after sunset, checking to see what color the full moon is tonight...

http://www.space.com/17381-will-the-blue-moon-really-be-blue-video.html

United States Budget Dilemma - WATCH THIS VIDEO!!!

Life on the farm...

Summer in North Idaho sure beats the AZ heat!  Unfortunately, there have been fires in the NW, and it has been warmer than usual.  It is still nice here.  I've managed to pick a lot of berries and made lots of jam, am waiting for the apples to ripen, and finally finished the front landscaping.  We've spent a lot of evenings bar-b-queing, enjoying the sunsets from the deck, and watching the humming birds feed.

Enjoy a few of the photos...